I love gossip magazines. I have no shame in following Lindsay Lohan's energy drink addiction or getting the juicy deets of Brad's secret meeting with Jen while someone with more sophisticated tastes reads The Economist next to me on the train. They can judge. I'm ok with that.
But I'm starting to get a little peeved that the last few cover stories have been about Jon & Kate Gosselin. I don't watch the show, and I really don't care for her haircut. A mullet is like two decades out of style ... so why would she think this oddly similar chop job would be a good idea? (For a great work distraction, check out this slideshow of other stars with the haircut.)
My frustration with their story is starting to make me rethink my reading material... Have we learned nothing from Newlyweds? When you let a camera crew into your home to document every waking minute, you will most likely wind up divorced and dating John Mayer. (Kate already has the "mom jeans".)
Aside from the fact that The Gosselins pretty much hate each other to begin with, they're dealing with an alleged affair, potential hanky-panky with the body guard, and 8 kids. But if they want to save their marriage (and their TV show), Dr. Laura Grashow has some advice for celeb gossip's couple du jour.
They need to sit back and think about if they want to stay together and make this marriage work. If these rumors of Jon coming home with someone early in the am are true, then Jon needs to take responsibility for what he has done and come clean to Kate. If they decide they want to take this time and find their relationship again, Jon needs to help her rebuild her trust and I would suggest some counseling. They are lacking in negotiating skills and communication skills. Go back to the basics and start over! Fight fair and listen to each other. If you look at them, this is not so typical - any marriage with children stresses the marriage because it's hard to find time to be acquainted and attracted to each other. They have become work partners and they need to compromise a sort of supportive parenting approach rather than one dominating the other. Prioritize your family and relationship over your TV show.
The rest of us may not have the same issues, but we can certainly learn a thing or two about prioritizing and getting through the ups and downs in relationships. According to Dr. Grashow, couples should follow these three tips.
1. Prioritize your marriage over family. You have got to find time with your busy schedules to be together and have some fun. Ask another family member to watch the kids. Let it all go one night a week and you will have fun.
2. Need Counseling? Do it! Learn how to fight fair and communicate with each other. Some couples work it out all on their own, join a workshop or get a counselor. No matter what you do, just remember it's hard work and you can do it.
3. Hang In There! Remember as the kids get older the stress will get easier and that's not only a time for them, but a time for you to get to know each other and grow old together. Without all that stress a lot can change.
Now if only we could just find Kate a new hairstylist ...
Laura Grashow Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who has been working with children, adolescents and families for over 15 years. She specializes in relationship issues, parenting, divorce, and child development. For more information, see Laura's Web site.
Plus, check out Laura's new book "Dating the Older Man." It is the ultimate comprehensive guide to coping with large age differences in love relationships. In today's world, factors such as high divorce rates, plastic surgery, increased life span, Internet dating, and even Viagra are making older men more available and more attractive choices for younger women. Get great practical answers to real problems and dilemmas- including issues relating to blended families and how to be a step-parent. The book is a veritable "how to" for relationships packed with great strategies and is an invaluable resource for women in the modern dating world.
